I had a different rant prepared in my mind, a wide-ranging diatribe detailing my various levels of disgust with radical feminists, traditional conservatives, Men's Right's Activists, etc. It would have taken a long time to write...
...but then i got distracted, because something kind of magical happened!
Okay, rewind. I woke up a few days ago, made a cup of coffee, and started clicking through my usual news sites. It's just how i start my mornings. On at least three of them, i saw headlines that proclaimed "Men's Rights Advocates call for Mad Max Ban" and "The new Mad Max: Too Much Girl Power?" And i sipped my delicious coffee and thought... wait... are they talking about that
article? No, no, they couldn't be...
...but they were! This one: www.returnofkings.com/63036/wh…
...and i remembered reading it a week or so prior. At the risk of sounding like a hipster, i knew about that disgusting piece of empty misogynist bullshit before
it was cool. It was written by Aaron Clarey, aka Captain Capitalism, a blathering MRA dope who is routinely mocked on the Drunken Peasants podcast, currently my favorite podcast.
And i thought... okay, this is funny. Because it's so overblown. Captain Clarey just rolled out of bed one day, wrote a short, stupid, ill-informed rant that was meant for the 500 people who normally read his garbage, and suddenly... blam! It gets picked up by some liberal sites, and now millions of people are reading it, and rightly calling him out on his nonsense. On one hand, i kinda feel sorry for the fool, because he's probably getting a lot of death threats and insults. On the other hand, he's also getting millions of views, which is probably beneficial to him in the long run. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
If you don't want to expose yourself to his actual drivel, let me sum it up. He feels that the new Mad Max movie is feminist propaganda because it features Charlize Theron playing a character named Imperator Furiosa, who is apparently quite a bad-ass. And that this is wrong, because women are not supposed to be portrayed this way.
Captain Clarey doesn't seem to understand what movies are. What science fiction and fantasy are. He doesn't seem to realize that this new movie was written by George Miller and his friends, who can do whatever they like, and instead attributes it to a nebulous boogeyman called "Hollywood." He doesn't think it's wrong when a male hero is shown doing things that are fairly unrealistic. Superman can punch tanks to death. Batman can fall off of buildings and live. Night Owl and Ozymandias, despite being normal humans with no super powers, can kick people so hard that they fly backwards twenty feet and smash through stone. All of that is okay, but when you have Charlize Theron able to hold her own in a fight? This is unacceptable to these MRA lunatics.
In a follow-up article on the same site, written by some jackass named Quintus Curtius, they double down on their hilarious poutrage. Quintus again derides the Furiosa character, and instead offers a counterexample -- the minor character that Charlize Theron portrayed in 2006's The Road, a very different sort of movie. Her character...
"...weak and faithless, she collapses in despair and abandons her family. In other words, the real Western woman. Theron, unable to handle the collapse of social order, abandons herself to despair. She wants to kill herself. And in an extremely disturbing scene, she simply abandons her family and walks out into the night, hoping to find a place to end her life. Lacking any character or strength, she abandons her family with unforgivable cowardice. In other words, she is the typical modern American woman: lacking in character, tenacity, and endurance, and ready to sell out her man the minute that the shit hits the fan. This has the ring of truth. And this is what makes the scene so disturbing. This is why no critic ever commented on it. If a real apocalypse were to happen, the response of nearly all American women would be: (1) curl up into the fetal position and die; or (2) seek out a male figure to protect her. There would be no altruism. There would be no virtue. But of course, this reality is almost never portrayed. Instead, what we get is the bullshit feminist pipe-dreams of Mad Max: Charlize Theron as a bionic-armed, karate-chopping ass-kicker, able to take down bodybuilders and brutes of all types."
.....i know, right?
I can only imagine what these lovely folks think of Black Widow, Major Kusanagi, Lagertha, Brienne of Tarth, Lucy, Katniss Everdeen...
They're probably not fans, i suppose.
Oh, Men's Rights Activists. I've been reading your crap out of grim curiosity for the past few years, and let me get this straight. A brief paraphrasing of your beliefs would go something like...
1. Getting pussy is all that matters. Every man needs to work on getting some hot tail every single night, or he's a fucking loser.
2. Women are weak, lazy, stupid creatures who have somehow enslaved men and taken over the entire world.
3. Women only exist to look hot. So they should be working out at the gym constantly in order to look good for us. But if all of this physical training results in them becoming strong, athletic, aggressive, or confident -- well, that's bad.
4. You can't trust women because you can't trust anyone. Everyone is out to get you. Everyone lies. Even me... so please listen to what I have to say.
5. All of my seemingly idiotic beliefs are justified by "biological basis" arguments. Men are supposed to be jerks and women are supposed to be submissive sex dolls because there's a biological basis for all of that... but... umm, I don't want the responsibility of taking care of kids, ever. Kids are a woman's way of tying you down and ruining your good times. Look, i know i justify everything by saying it's a biological necessity to perpetuate the species, but don't expect me to actually help perpetuate the species! That's a lot of work!
6. You know what? Getting pussy ain't even that important. Man, fuck these bitches. If all you think about is pussy, you're a fucking loser.
This is how rotten people are these days.
Anyway, check out the Return of Kings site if you want to laugh and vomit at the same time.
In other news!
I got a small vacation coming up -- three whole days off. I haven't had more than one day off in a row since December, so i'm going to use this time wisely and live life to its fullest. Draw... apply for jobs... take my dog to the dog park...
And i'm definitely going to see Mad Max: Fury Road with my brother. Because honestly, people say it's pretty great, and Charlize Theron really kicks ass in it.
Anyone seen it yet?
.The Wall of Turdpolish
OPERATION TURDPOLISH 3.0
......Current Movies: Exodus:
Gods and Kings, The Grand Budapest Hotel.Current TV show:
Game of Thrones. Steven Universe. Wayward Pines.Current Tunes:
POWER 85. Uberzone.Current Foods:
Turkey omelette with salsa.Current Drinks:
Delicious coffee.Currently Feeling:
Anticipating glorious vacation!